Heart-shaped box
by yohdawn
Summary: Foxxay. She was collected, reserved but the moment you have stepped into this house, the headmistress's heart softened a bit. The greenhouse was your place to meet.
1. Chapter 1

It's frustrating, to always feel like something invisible is dragging you down all the time, like you have these pockets full of stones and you're drowning in a river. People and their beliefs - engulfing you, scaring you, killing you. You just wanted to belong, to be accepted but your own family and friends burned you alive. It's a heavy burden to carry, these feelings that you're always left out. You still don't understand why they did what they did. You never hurt anyone; you just wanted to help, to heal others. It's sad how you've healed so many people but you were never able to heal yourself. But Stevie, her music was always there for you, maybe not exactly mending your wounds but at least stopping you from bleeding. Until the moment you realized that some people can heal you, too.

She was different from them, always talking in this official manner as if there were a hundred more of them in the room. She would never show how she felt and you would only shiver at the thought that "this is what it's like to a Supreme's daughter". She was collected, reserved but the moment you have stepped into this house, the headmistress's heart softened a bit. The greenhouse was your place to meet. You were always thirsty for knowledge and she always felt glad that at least someone here wanted to learn. When with you, her voice would change, her look would too. But the moment anyone would enter the greenhouse to ask something or to tell that the dinner is ready, she would return to this façade, her eyes cold and voice strict. You have never questioned it.

Your thoughts then return back to this dark box. All these feelings are difficult, this is difficult. And you feel like you can't survive this, you're choking on air, drowning in despair. You get so cold that even layers and layers of clothing can't help you feel warm. Your lungs, it's as if they're filled with water but you still try to scream as loud as you can. Still, no one can hear you. Is this how you die? Trapped in a coffin by the venomous bitch that you helped to revive? Your lungs are burning from the lack of oxygen as if someone took a sheet of paper and lit it. You are getting sleepier and sleepier, your head feels heavier. You start singing "Landslide". This was always one of your favorite songs; you found this song fitting the situation right now. Stevie has always given you strength and hope all this time though now you are just most probably saying goodbye to her. And then you remember how the headmistress would smile whenever you told her about meeting Stevie. She had heard this story more than a couple of times but never said anything; she would just smile and look at you babbling about your idol. You have only one regret - that she wasn't the last person you saw. And as you're slowly dying (again), you remember her sympathetic look and the smell of her expensive perfume. Maybe this is how it ends…

The next thing you remember is your lungs greedily absorbing the oxygen. You start coughing roughly, not understanding what is going on but when you look up – it is her who's standing there.

While you lay in your cold bed, you try to process everything that has happened for the past few days. You're alive and breathing again, the headmistress is blind again, the Supreme is dead, Zoe left and then got back, Madison is going to have some difficulties walking for quite some time, the Seven Wonders… You close your burning eyes because it's difficult, there's too much information, your brain is still not functioning well. Also, your pale knuckles hurt a bit because of the fight from before. You have no idea what time it is but you hear a soft knock on the wooden door.

- Come on in, - you shout, though not too loud and you start coughing again.

You hear her cane followed by her hesitant footsteps. You lift your head from the uncomfortable pillow and watch her slim figure which is illuminated by the pale moonlight.

- Misty? Are you okay? – you hear her say. You can't figure out the tone behind those words.

I'm fine, - you cough a bit more. – Don't ya worry about me, Miss Cordelia.

She slowly sits on the bed, beside you. Composed, silent. A couple of minutes pass ant it's like she wants to say something but just can't find the right words to say. You decide to break the silence yourself.

- I can't believe you did this… - you trail off sadly while your hand slowly touches her scars around her eyes.

- I… I couldn't stand it, I needed to find you. At first I really thought you left. That you have had enough of the lies and crimes of this house that you decided to go back to the swamps, - her voice was shaking, her whole body was. – But in my heart I knew something bad had happened to you, I was so scared I'd never find you…

She starts crying. Her body is shaking uncontrollably but her sobs are silent. You wouldn't even be able to tell that she's crying except that her shoulders are shaking. You don't know what to say, you didn't want to upset her, you wanted to see her smile again.

- I'm so sorry Miss Cordelia, please forgive me, - you grab her hands. Yours are as cold as ice and hers are warm, soft.

You just pull her into a tight hug and at first she gasps but later embraces you with her strong arms as well. You sit like that for god knows how long.

- Misty, I'm sorry; I promised to protect you and couldn't keep my promise. I am just as useless as my mother thought I am, - her voice is full of regret and bitterness.

- No, you're not. Don't put yourself down. You found me, you saved me, - you grab the sides of her face as you're saying this. She needs to understand, how important she is, to this coven, to you…

- But… - she tries.

- I need you, okay? – if this isn't the right moment then you don't know what is. – I need you, I need you with me, I need you to be with me, I -

You feel soft lips on your own. The kiss is hesitant, you can feel it but it's still a kiss. Her hands find your waist and you caress her cheek, still wet from the salty tears. You kiss her back, more fierce fully, with more passion, more lust, more feelings. Both of you start to undress each other a bit awkwardly at first, but then you get the hang of it. Her skin is soft, as soft as you were ever able to imagine and her kisses leave a trace of fire. As she falls asleep in your arms under the pale moonlight, a new feeling is born.

It's fear. The fear of what happens if you fail.


	2. Chapter 2

She vanished, disintegrated, disappeared. Into nothing, she's gone, dust to dust. Forever. It's funny, how you've never really understood the meaning of "forever", because time has its limits, right? But now you understand how agonizing a "forever" can be. This pain will exist forever along with the emptiness and the hurt and... Whatever you two had, the feelings you've treasured the most have now disintegrated with her precious body. You keep on sobbing, you just can't stop. You are trying to figure out - was it better to not see her for the last time? But no, you shake your head, you doubt your pain would be lesser or bigger even if you would have been able to see her calm and beautiful face. You remember her smile and your sobs are uncontrollable right now. Why? She was so different, why her? So young, so beautiful, so innocent... Why Misty? Anger and pain battle in you while you automatically continue to sob still feeling her ashes in your cold hands.

She's gone and there's nothing you can do about it.

Months pass slowly, painfully and you feel like you've never slept properly since that dreadful day. Because you can't, you can't sleep knowing how Misty's soul is trapped in hell for all eternity. You couldn't even give her a proper burial, all you did was collect her remains in an urn and place it near your bed, on the nightstand. It's not enough. You can't sleep because you keep on seeing her die in your nightmares over and over again until you wake up screaming. She's there, smiling, being happy, humming and watering plants and the next second she's gone. Your wounds can't heal; you don't really want them to.

You bury yourself with work as the new Supreme thinking how it may at least take a bit of the pain away. But it's not helping. Sometimes you think you hear Stevie's music in the greenhouse or Misty's former room but when you get there, either no one's present or the new girls are just talking cheerfully, saying hello to the Supreme who they think came to check up on them. You just smile and close the door silently. These halls, they've absorbed Misty's being and even though it's really excruciating, you wouldn't have it any other way.

One day you decide to visit Misty's shack and when you enter it, the smell of her engulfs you. The smell of earth, magic, spices, nature. Oh Misty, if you knew how I miss you… You then take out the urn with her ashes and place it on the old table in front of you. Now there are even more reasons to visit the swamp shack more often, to be where she spent most of her short life. As you look around, you open her closet and hot tears start flowing down your cheeks. The closet is full of Misty's shawls, the ones she loved so much, the ones she was always dancing and twirling with. Different colors and lengths, you didn't even notice how many did she have. As you take one of her beautiful and colorful shawls, you smile a sad smile and take a few steps to sit on her cold bed. Fatigue takes over you and as you lay on Misty's bed, you slowly fall asleep. It's the first time that the nightmares don't haunt you, the first time you're at peace.

Instead, you just hear her voice, from far far away. She's repeating your name.


End file.
